Prayer of One Burdened

My heart is aching, dearest Lord.
At night I water it with my tears,
at day I feed it with my sorrows.
Will you remain far off forever, Lord?

Do you not hear me crying in distress?
How long has this burden been upon my soul!
I have sought to lift it without success, my strength is not enough.
I have sought the aid of others, but they cannot help or will not.

I turn to you, oh God. You alone can help me.
Will you not aid me,
comfort me in my sorrow?

This burden is so great that I can barely speak, barely move.
Alone I sink beneath its weight, struggling for every breath.
My cries come out as panting gasps.
How can I endure this, my Lord?
How much longer will this burden afflict my heart?

Yet if this is your will, Oh God, who am I to stand against it?
Who am I to question the ways of the Lord?
Truly it is by his grace that I walk or move at all.
Every step, every rise after every fall is by his power.
In my misery his strength sustains me.

Though the Lord appears far off, how can I trust my senses,
The senses of a weak and human body?
Will they tell me that the Lord is present,
or the purpose of this burden?
No, but faith shall tell me the purpose of my sorrows,
shall tell me where the Lord is in my distress.

He is in me, lifting me, aiding me to walk.
He allows my burden that I might turn to him all the more for succor in my troubles.
Therefore, though my heart aches and this burden weighs upon my soul
I will not despair.
Sorrow shall never speak the last when God is at my side.

Let Go

from a time in prayer

Let go of everything but me.
Cling only to my Spirit.

Let go of fear, of all anxious worry.
My Spirit will fill you with courage and trust.
Let go of hatred, all resentful grudges.
My Spirit will fill you with love and forgiveness.
Let go of pride, foolish self attachment.
My Spirit will fill you with humility and sacrifice.
Let go of doubt and lingering uncertainty.
My Spirit will fill you with lasting faith.
Let go of tears and sorrows remembered.
My Spirit will fill you with unbridled joy.
Let go of timidity with it's hesitant steps.
My Spirit will fill you with zeal and passion.

Only by letting go will you find,
in emptying will you fill,
in giving you will receive,
in dying you shall live.

Behold, when you forget yourself you will remember me,
and I shall not forget you.
I will fill you with my Spirit.
Your weakness is no match for my strength.
Turn over all to me and I will cast out all that hinders you,
all that has caused you to weep bitter tears of anguish.

Yet I warn you, nothing must be kept back.
If you fully desire my Spirit, then you must fully give all that you are.
But I tell you, do not be afraid.
For when you fully give yourself,
fully empty, fully lose,
you will become, fully, the person you were meant to be.

Prepare For Battle

My brethren, steel thyselves against temptation
I say unto you, the battle is before us.
Truly our doom is at hand.
Therefore, gird on helm and breastplate, sword and shield.
Prepare yourself for battle long and arduous.

Indeed, our enemy is at hand.
A tireless general who never sleeps, never tires,
with legions like him at his command.
Their thirst for blood cannot be quenched, cannot be slaked.
They will not rest until we fall.

Therefore oh lovers of truth and beauty,
those of you who defy the armies of hate,
shore up your defenses, make firm thy walls.
For the time is upon us when they shall be tested in the fires of war,
for the enemy marches upon us. He is at our gates.

Prepare your defenses with fiery hearts,
for not all hope is lost, nor are we forsaken.
Our commander will not desert us, but will lead us to victory.
In him let us put our faith.
Before him the craven hordes of the enemy fly,
at the sound of his horn they quake with fear.

Woe to them who call not to our King,
who in pride or foolishness follow him not in the coming battle.
Surely they will fall like sheep to wolves.
The faint hearted will not endure this time of trial,
but will wither like ash before the onslaught.

But those who trust our King with zeal and courage,
they will surely be victorious, he will lead them.
In the coming battles and trials he will triumph,
Leading his followers out of darkness to a new dawn.
He will plant his banner of victory on the field of battle.