Prayer of the Penitent

Lord, behold one before you deserving of death,

a wretched, sinful man.

No right have I to stand before you,

I, who have transgressed your laws.

Behold, oh Lord, I stand before you guilty.

My hands are stained with blood,

blood guilt lies upon my soul.

I have no defense, for the charges against me are true.

No recompense could I offer for my misdeeds.

There is no earthly sum great enough for my sins.

They have drowned me in a sea of agony,

and choked me in black despair.

I weep when I consider what I have done,

how your once faithful servant has failed you.

Truly for my deeds I deserve death

and you, my King, would be just in condemning me.

Yet my deeds will not end in tears or death,

my debt has already been paid, and God forgives.

He forgoes his great and just wrath for his name's sake,

for the sake of his Son who paid my debt.

Because of your sacrifice I find hope in despair.

I cast myself before you, that you might take me back.

Instill in me a spirit of resolve and love,

that I might serve you with loyal heart and soul.

May my tears oh God turn me to you.

In my despair and sorrow may I reach out in hope to your love.

I fall before you a sinner, seeking your forgiveness.

Let me once again sing joyfully in your service.

Swords Around the Cross

Come marshall now, my brothers!

Gather swords around the cross,

where we shall count as dearest gain,

what the world would count as loss!

For dark indeed's the hour,

when Christ's let sound his horn.

Warriors of Love, haste to his side!

For this purpose we were born!

Armies of hate have gathered,

and hold the world enslaved.

Led by generals none could hope to face,

dark, fey and depraved!

The world sends these baying wolves,

loosed on the cross like wraiths.

Yet these none could never best,

We shall conquer by faith!

For though our time appeareth night,

I say to you, tis dawn!

For our King rose from death to lead,

in fight gainst demon spawn!

Join now this crusade of virtue

to protect the weak and least,

to counter the lies of this savage world,

that tells us man's a beast.

And though we fall, my brothers,

and make the last sacrifice,

What seems as loss is victory,

for the Lord sustains our life!

Now unsheathe thy arms, my brothers!

Fear not thy death or loss!

Sing the song of joyous battle!

Charge now, for God and Cross!

How Did it Come to This?

Oh sisters, dearest sisters,

why sell yourselves like this?
Why give yourselves to lusts of man,
reject the wonder of God's plan,
his designs for your great bliss?

Oh tell me, tell me, how did it come to this?

My beautiful ones, my sisters,
how can you be so blind?
In your dress men see not the core,
see but the body, nothing more
as they rape with eyes and mind.

My heart is breaking, dearest sisters! How did it come to this?

Do you not know my sisters,
that you were made for so much more?
Men see you now as game pursued,
notches on the post and playthings used,
treat you not like royal princess, but a whore.

I weep for you, my sisters! How did it come to this?

I wish for you my sisters,
that you might open yourselves to love.
Challenge men to treat you as they ought,
as souls that should be protected, honored, not objects bought.
Show them what your person is truly of!

I see you sisters and wonder, how did it come to this?

And I ask unto you, my brothers,
whence came this fateful day?
That we now listen to worldly lies,
that cloaked beneath fair-seeming guise
bid us sell our strength away.

Such lies, such lies, my brothers! How did it come to this?

How did it come, my brothers,
that our selfish lusts we seek?
Pursue women, power, wealth at length,
in which the world tells us lies our strength,
but in truth surely makes us weak.

What fools we are, my brothers! How did it come to this?

What sin and folly, brothers,
that our strength we now misuse!
Strength that should be used to love, protect,
now at cost of our sisters runs unchecked,
as with eyes and hearts we abuse.

Alas, my warrior brothers! How did it come to this?

Where lies our strength my brothers,
our call in times of strife?
Not to use but to love and shield,
before dark temptation never yield,
though it cost our very life.

How far we fall, my brothers! How did it come to this?

Tell me world, oh tell me!
Do you think our life is this?
To grab what we can for ourselves,
as we live inside our little Hells,
can't you see what is amiss?

This is not the truth, my brethren! How did it come to this?

Oh people, if these selfish truths are real,
tis a sad and shrunken Earth.
Till we turn back to love and sacrifice,
from lives of selfish thoughts and mortal vice,
our world is fatally cursed.

We were made for more, oh people! How did it come to this?

Gates of Hell

Hell's gates are open, the path is clear to Hades.

On dim-lit Styx the boatman waits,

to bring across the shades.

The Earth awaits with bated breath,

round the cliffs of the hot gates,

Where men shall die and men shall fall,

as victims of the Fates.

Thebeans and Phocians, Corinthians and all,

Arcadia, Thesbia, Locria march to a yet unborn nation's call.

Forth they march to defend the pass

that through the cliffs is torn.

And at the front there march the best,

three hundreds, Spartan born.

Yes three hundreds from Lacedaemon, led by their lion king.

Of whom afterwards the Muses will soft songs sadly sing.

Each man with him to the death,

grim the light in every eye.

For a son or more has each man sired

thus they all march forth to die.

They reach at last Thermopylae and set upon the pass.

The sea stretches before them, a mirror of shimmering glass.

And there they wait with steely eye,

for the Fates their death to bring.

It comes at last in form of those

who know Xerxes as their king.

Across from them sits Persia's king with his unnumbered horde.

For four days waits before he stirs to tempt the Spartan lord.

He offers better earth and friendship,

but the lion would rather die.

"Lay down your arms!" With scornful tone,

"Come and get them!" his reply.

In rage the Eastern King lets sound his battle horn,

Sends forth a rush of deadly spears, each one a wicked thorn.

They rush against the burning bronze,

which gleaming shines like golden fire,

with sharpened flames and heavy shields,

all clad in bright attire.

Rushed like roaring wave on rocks at sea, fast the human tide does fall.

Like wheat before the sharpened scythe they die at the bronze-clad wall.

For the phalanx stands unmoving,

each man guards his comrade true.

With every blow, yea every thrust,

they pierce a foeman through.

Glorious now does shine the sun on bright-lit Spartan blades,

that cut down by the hundred and send souls at last to Hades.

The Spartans in battle exulting,

for this purpose they were bred.

On bright bronze spears the first wave died,

the remnants turned and fled.

But lo, what new threat is this that comes upon the field,

that seeks to break the Spartan wall, destroy the Spartan shield?

In desperate rage now Xerxes sends

ten thousand men all told.

His corps elite, his army's best,

Immortals, dark and cold.

This dark wave howling crashes towards the strong shield wall of bronze,

that stands still as graven statue as the blood before it ponds.

Little different to the Spartan men,

appear those of Persian fame.

For still the die and back they fall,

ill chosen is their name.

The sun sets a bloody fire on a bloody battle field,

and rose next morn and looked again on men who wouldn't yield.

But Xerxes in his heart held hope

that the battle line was weak.

A new assault he sends again,

for victory to seek.

And though the day was new the battle was the same.

For the weapons of the Peloponnese leapt like a deadly flame.

And Xerxes started from his seat,

saw how futile was the test.

Recalled the men, leaving still comrades,

the Spartans had laid to rest.

As Xerxes sat in night and thought dark thoughts upon his chair,

a lowly worm came crawling in, offered his service there.

For though the narrow way was blocked,

a different path he knew.

A winding path, through mountain cliffs,

around the bronze clad few.

This craven coward saw Persian gold dancing before his eye,

and led Persian Immortals by the pass before dawn broke the sky.

But as the sun was coming,

Word reached the Spartan ear.

The flank was turned, the hordes came on,

their hour of doom drew near.

The King not hesitating called his forces to his side,

allowed but a handful stay with him, to delay the flowing tide.

For some would fight another day,

and these withdrew to the West.

Some stayed to die and deadliest were

those who bore the Spartan crest.

As Immortals descended, Persians advanced, and tighter drew the noose,

The King with all his men charged forth, like a deadly arrow loosed.

They would not wait for death to take them,

the dark fates they defied.

And midst the battle, midst swords in glory,

Leonidas fighting died.

And in the fearsome battle a yet fiercer one did break.

The Spartans save the trophy that the foeman sought to take.

Bore their king's body to a hill

where they might make a final stand.

Their foes came on, the Spartans slew.

With sword and spear and hand.

Xerxes back from battle raged in his chair on high,

and ordered thousands arrows loosed, to darken day-lit sky.

The archers circled round the hill,

arrows rushed like rain from blue.

The storm stopped not, til the last was slain,

of Sparta, brave and few.

Though Persia then marched over those who riches could not entice,

Their comrades beat the foeman back, inspired by sacrifice.

They returned then to the Hot Gates,

raised an epitaph close by:

"Go tell to Sparta, stranger passing,

that here obedient to her law we lie".

Why we Need the Emotions

a research paper on the necessity of the emotions that I thoroughly enjoyed!!

Why we need the Emotions: Understanding the Passions and Saint Paul in Light of Thomas Aquinas

Ian S. Masson

The Institute for the Psychological Sciences

Our Need for the Emotions

One has only to look at the world to see that man has a multitude of evils and conflicts raging against him, from physical evils to struggles that dwell within him. One issue that appears to be of a particularly troublesome nature is the passions, or emotions, of man. In man’s pursuit of beatitude the passions can be a rather thorny issue for him, as they have the potential to pull him away from true beatitude and ultimate good, which are God (Gondreau, 2007, p.431). This struggle is not new for man, for even Saint Paul in frustration laments in his letter to the Romans that “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do” (RSV, Rom 7:19). In light of this portrayal of the emotions, it might appear better that one merely denies the emotions and subdue them by force of will. However, an investigation into Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church show that this is not the case. Looking at the teachings of Thomas Aquinas on the passions and the example Jesus Christ presents in Scripture, it becomes evident that passions are necessary for man to develop in his moral life. In addition, when brought in line with a rightly formed intellect and will and a life of virtue, the passions aid man in pulling him towards what is the ultimate good. This conception of the emotions will give not only a deeper understanding of Saint Paul and his struggle, but will also shed light on the psychology of emotions and why they are necessary for man in his journey towards the ultimate good.

Understandings of the Emotions

There have been many different schools of thoughts offering various opinions on the nature of the emotions. The term ‘emotion’ in its current use is rather narrow, and Aquinas’ use of passion both includes and surpasses it. In addition, when Aquinas speaks of passions he is not referring to the narrow definition of passions to mean “a violent sentiment that overpowers reason” (Pinckaers 1990, p. 274). Aquinas uses passion to denote not only emotions and feelings but also “sense knowledge of the world and its actors, and to the potential to be hurt, hungry, and thirsty, as well as to suffer death” (Titus 2009, p. 57). Passions do not only include emotions such as desire, love, and joy, but also sense knowledge that occurs prediscursively, enabling a type of precursory evaluation (CCC #1763). For Aquinas, the passions are sensate movements of the soul that either draw one towards some perceived good or make him recoil from a perceived evil. These sensate movements, in Latin passio, for the purposes of this paper will be referred to interchangeably as “emotions” and “passions” as previous works have done (Gondreau, 2007, p. 422). Regardless of the term used, emotion or passion, this still leaves one the question as to their nature: Are passions by nature irrational and evil and therefore should be subdued or does man need them in some fashion?

Irrational Passions

At first glance it would appear that these movements based on man’s senses are very much irrational. In Saint Paul’s frustrated cry against doing the evil he does not want to do, he clearly states that he wants to do the good However, he experiences a “war among my members”, a war with will and intellect on one side and passions on the other (Rom 7:19-24). Paul both knows what is good and desires to do it, but experiences a pull of the flesh towards lesser goods, a spiritual tug of war between appetites termed “concupiscence” (Gondreau, p. 431). Because his passions keep him from a life of virtue and true beatitude, one could possibly look at the passions as something evil. It was the belief of the Stoics that the passions would “cloud our judgment and… hamper our duty” and that “the goal of moral life is apatheia, indifference to one’s emotional states” (Gondreau, p. 443). What this does is set up a sort of dualism, where intellect and will are fighting against the passions of the flesh, which are impediments to man’s freedom in seeking the good. Looking at the passage in Romans, it is clear that the passions are acting as a chain to Saint Paul, wanting to do the good with all his good but failing because of the passions of his flesh. Because of this clear effect of sin on the human passions in hindering man from achieving true beatitude, even many Christians have often pushed passions to the irrational sphere as obstacles to be avoided. For many, the belief developed that virtue and beatitude can only be obtained through an act of the will, a belief held even by some of Aquinas’ contemporaries such as Bonaventure, who viewed the passions as “a hindrance to the spiritual ascent of the soul towards union with the One” (Gondreau, p.443).

Another philosopher who did not believe there could be any communication between reason and the sensate movements was Descartes. He conceives of the passions as movements produced by the mechanical workings of the body, caused by the corporeal part of man, various organs and structures of the brain. There is for Descartes a clear separation between man’s rational thoughts and his emotions, revealing again a very dualistic line of thought. For him, the passions belong exclusively to the body and therefore cannot point in any way to rational knowledge or true human good since they are not truly of the mind. Therefore, man must avoid the passions in order to pursue rational knowledge and to develop mastery of free will (Pinckaers, p.280). Rational knowledge then can be used to reign in these animal passions and keep them in check, regardless of what they incline one to do (Gondreau, p. 445). Therefore, what Paul must do is very similar to the Stoic line of thought. While Descartes does not necessarily believe that Paul should not feel emotions at all or should be indifferent to them, he must develop his reason to the point where he can harness his animal senses and hold them in check.

Passions: The Highest Good

On the other side of the coin is the perspective that views the passions as the highest good, an extreme view held by the Epicureans (Gondreau, p.446). Here instead of reigning in the passions with reason one should hand the reigns to passion and let passion guide. A life of moral excellence consists not in choosing the highest good like Bonaventure believed, but consists instead of pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. For the Epicureans, according to Pinckaers, “beatitude is placed at the level of the emotions”, meaning pleasure is the highest good possible and pain is something to be avoided at all costs (Pinckaers, p.275). David Hume later developed a similar view, believing that ‘virtue’ and ‘vice’ were not objective actions but merely subjective statements of feeling. Moral judgments do not really exist, for when one makes a statement about ‘virtue’ one means something that brings pleasure, whereas ‘vice’ brings pain (Gondreau, p.447-448). One therefore must pursue what is pleasurable in life and avoid that which causes pain if one is interested in living the good life.

If Saint Paul adopted this line of thinking, it would provide him with an interesting conundrum because he laments about how his passions pull him, but according to this understanding he should merely follow his passions. Based on the Epicurean line of thought, Paul is creating a conflict where one needn’t exist. He should not be fighting against that which would bring him pleasure, but instead should embrace it as his highest good. Hume would view the problem in the sense that when Paul uses the terms ‘good’ or ‘evil’ he is merely referring to his subjective feelings, what he does or doesn’t like. Again, instead of fighting against this Paul should instead embrace what feels to him subjectively ‘good’.

A Need for Something More

Both of the above views bring something positive to the table and at the same time leave something important out. While those like Bonaventure and the Stoics have a fair point that the emotions often run counter to man’s reason and will, the fact that the swing to the extreme of marginalizing emotions cuts out an integral part of man who, as Pope Benedict XVI says, is both body and soul united as one (2006, n. 5). Without the emotions, man becomes something less than what he was meant to be. If God created man in his image and likeness, then God must have given the emotions to man for a specific reason (Genesis 1:26-28). Trying to cut out the emotions would be like trying to cut out any of man’s other faculties: his need to sleep, eat, even intangible needs like the need for relationship. Doing this would cut out part of what makes man human and in doing so deprives him of the passions which he needs, a fact which will be revealed presently.

On the other side, the Epicureans are right in the sense that passions can point to what is good. It is the role of the passions to move man towards a perceived bodily good or away from a bodily evil (Gondreau, p.424). These perceived goods and evils aid man in his ability to live, whether because of hunger he eats, because of a desire for relationship he takes a wife, or out of fear he recoils from a dangerous object. The passions point man to objects that are indeed very good and are necessary for his survival, since again he is both body and soul united, both parts requiring that their needs be fulfilled. However, this line of thought does not account for the very real struggle that is occurring inside of Paul. He knows there is objective good and evil regardless of how his body subjectively feels, something the Church has never failed to teach (CCC, #1958). The Epicurean understanding does not allow for the fact that man is a fallen being and as such his intellect and sense appetites rarely work in harmony, but instead pull him in different directions (Gondreau, p.431). Despite the fact that his passions may be indulged, Paul spiritually feels that he is doing evil, which he does not want to do, and is not doing the good which he does want to do. This points to a pleasure that is beyond the sensate appetites, which by themselves are obviously not fulfilling enough for Paul. Since he is both body and soul, it is not sufficient for him to indulge his passions without care for his soul, which also longs to have its need of true beatitude in God fulfilled. If Epicureans give too much control to the passions and the Stoics do not give enough, is there a middle road where passions can work hand in hand with the intellect and will in man’s quest for true beatitude?

Passions: Part of the Whole

There is indeed a middle understanding in the man’s use of the passions, an understanding most fully developed by Thomas Aquinas. Both of the above understandings would prove unsatisfactory to Aquinas, the Cartesian dualism providing a “disembodied anthropology” and the Epicurean understanding not realizing that true beatitude, a life of virtue in God, stems not from emotion but from human rationality and will (Gondreau, p.423, 435). These views have split man in half, body and soul, when these parts are supposed to be intimately united so that man may be fully himself (Pope Benedict XVI, n. 5). The union of body and soul are so complete that “the soul cannot operate without the body… the life of the body must be sustained if the soul, even in the operation of its rational or spiritual powers, is to act, let alone flourish” (Gondreau, p.425). Man’s body and soul are so united that it is impossible to really separate them into different parts that have entirely different goals. Therefore, in the Thomistic understanding the passions form part of the larger whole of man, who has both passions, reason, and will. These parts may be different in how they operate, but they still have the capacity to work together to bring man to beatitude. Aquinas’ view is captured in Dr. Gondreau’s work on Aquinas’ understanding of the passions, where it is seen that passions work with the higher appetites of reason and will.

Reason and will can incite movements of passion, just as movements of emotion can rouse the will and influence a judgment of reason. Our passions and desires often shape how we think, thereby influencing how we act. For Aquinas, this offers plain evidence of the fact that the lower appetitive ordering to goods of the body truly participates in the higher appetitive ordering to happiness and fulfillment, to goodness itself (Gondreau, p.425).

What this passage shows is that man is not a soul that is working towards one good and a body that is working towards an entirely different good. Instead, the lower appetites, the passions can be ordered in such a way as to aid in bringing man to true beatitude. While man must use reason and will to strive towards ultimate happiness, at the same time he is made to be moved from within by his lower appetites to the gain of beatitude (Gondreau, p.430). This means that instead of remaining at the sensate level, the passions are able to move man to higher spiritual and moral levels (Pinckaers, p.277). While Aquinas realizes that man can choose the good without necessarily having the emotions present, such as in the case of Saint Paul, a morally perfect person would not have to work against his desires, but instead his desires would be in line with what he knew what the good was. He would see what was good, desire it, and choose it (Gondreau, 436), because his bodily, sensate appetites are working in harmony with his higher appetites, his will and intellect, to obtain the good.

The Passions at War

If the emotions indeed are part of man as an integrated whole, then why is there this violent struggle waging inside Saint Paul? After reading the passage in Romans, it would appear that the passions are anything but integrated and that they only serve to pull Paul (and man) away from what is truly good (Rom 7:17-24). As Dr. Gondreau’s analysis shows, Thomas was fully aware that the intellectual and sensual longings rarely work together in harmony for the purpose of obtaining true happiness (Gondreau, p.431). There are indeed competing pulls of the lower appetites towards bodily goods and those of higher appetites towards the highest good. However, this is due not in fact to the nature of emotions, but instead due to the concupiscence that is present in man. The effect of original sin has been such that there is now turmoil between man’s intellect and will and his sensate appetites. Whereas prior to the fall the lower powers worked in harmony with the higher and were subject to them, this is no longer the case (Titus, p.69). Now man’s reason and will have only a limited control over the sensate appetites, which must give their consent when the will makes a judgment about some perceived good, a relationship known as principatus politicus, where the passions are like free subjects who consent to be ruled by a higher power, but can withdrawn their consent at the same time (Gondreau, p. 432, 434). This means that, in some cases, the passions will not consent to a certain act even if the intellect knows it to be good and the will desires it. In such a scenario, if the sensate appetite is strong enough then it is possible for the person to be pulled towards a bodily good but not the highest good, something Saint Paul experienced.

Just because the passions are in some ways at war with the higher appetites does not mean they are themselves evil or irrational. Using the concept of the principatus politicus, one can see that the passions can actually participate with the higher powers of reason and will semi-autonomously, giving its consent to things it desires (Gondreau, p. 434). Because of this participation, the passions can serve as a source of virtuous behavior if they are directed in such a way to desire virtue, to desire the good. While not rational in and of themselves, the passions can become “rational by participation” with a rightly formed intellect and will oriented towards the good (Gondreau, p.434-435). Although this may seem absurd at first, as the passions flow from the animal senses of man and virtue is something that the intellect and will judge to be good, it actually shows how man can be oriented as a united being, passions, intellect, and will, towards the good. When this occurs, “sensation is perfected by serving the spirit, with the aid of the virtues that educate it” (Pinckaers, p.278). Aquinas understands this to occur through the formation of habits and virtue, as Dr. Gondreau points out.

“Through growth in moral virtue, the lower sense appetite advances from a power that contests reason and wills power to command to one that cooperates more and more, through it’s own impulses, with this imperium” (p.441).

As man grows in virtue, his passions will no longer conflict with him as to what good he should choose. His virtuous habits are formed in such a way that his whole integrated being, including his passions, become oriented towards what is rationally good and true beatitude. In this way man’s freedom of will is truly perfected, because now instead of his passions working as a chain keeping him from the true good they now work with his will to make him more inclined and desirous towards the good. His passions act in harmony with his reason and will, pulling him towards what is truly good for him as opposed to his choosing the good through a strict act of the will.

Necessary Use of Emotions

Man’s Need for Emotions

Even given the fact that the passions can participate with reason and will, is it really necessary that they do so? Why cannot one merely ignore the emotions and use the intellect and will to both recognize and choose the good? While this is possible, there are several reasons why bringing the passions into line with reason and will is more desirable than the alternative of ignoring them.

As has already been stated, the body and its passions are an integral part of what makes up man. To deny the passions or to regulate them to only necessary for the animal part of man is to deny the unity that Aquinas understands to exist between man’s body and his soul (Pinckaers, p.278). While both Aquinas and the Church realize that the passions themselves are morally neutral, only good insofar as the point man towards true good, this does not mean that one can choose to not engage the passions (CCC # 1767). Because the passions exist and because man was made body and soul in God’s image for God, the passions must exist in to pull man towards God in some way (Genesis 1: 26-28, 1Cor 6:19-20). God did not merely give man a soul but both a soul and body, meaning to deny part of the whole, in this case the body’s passions, is to deny part of God’s gift.

Not using the passions does not merely deny part of man, but it also could hinder him in his development as a person, both in terms of self-mastery and as a moral being. In the former, man, because he is body and soul, must come to master his emotions if he is to be more than an animal (Gondreau, p. 439). As Saint Paul shows, it is possible for the semi-autonomous passions to obey or disobey reason and will, which means that they must be controlled and developed in such a way by one’s reason and will so that they point one towards the true good. Experiencing emotions that potentially pull man in a direction away from his ultimate good serves as a chance for him to develop this mastery, hoping in time that his passions will begin to desire virtue as a consequence of his choices. For example, a married man could possibly experience passions that try to pull him away towards infidelity. Through constantly choosing not to indulge those passions and focus instead his attention on his wife, this man will not subdue his passions but will gain mastery over them in such a way that they point him to his good, namely, a loving relationship with his spouse.

This points to the other necessary role the emotions fulfill, which is aiding man in his development as a moral creature. Aquinas realizes that it is entirely possible for one to recognize and choose the good even though he does not ‘feel’ like it. Such a person would be described as a continent person, one who does the good without the affective desire to do it (Gondreau, p. 436). Returning to the fidelity example, a married man might know that it is wrong to have an affair and therefore chooses not to, even though his passions scream at him for fulfillment. Can it really be said that this man is virtuously perfect? Aquinas would answer no, for to achieve moral perfection this man would have to be oriented fully towards his ultimate good- which includes his passions. “He must be good not only in his rational judgment but in all his internal desires as well” (Gondreau, p.436). Even using a more positive example shows that the emotions are necessary in man’s development. A married man may say to his wife “I know it is right for me to love you and I choose to do so, but I don’t feel anything for you. I just know this is the right thing for both you and me”. The wife, rightly so, would be hurt and unfulfilled in her desire for love, for both her body and soul would crave that passion and love her husband was not giving. Again, this man would be continent in doing the right thing but still would not have the proper desire towards his wife. These continent men would become temperate when they use their intellect and will to engage their passions and fully desire only their wives in the properly chaste relationship of marriage. No longer is the good life burdensome to them, but they delight in it and are pulled towards it as a result of their passions. Through consistently choosing the good and forming virtuous habits of properly loving their wives, the men become more free to love and to use their passions, shaped by their actions, as a source of moral virtue. Only when they have brought their entire being, passions, will, and intellect into line with the true good, can they have achieved true beatitude. Otherwise there is something in them, in their passions that is pointing away from what is truly good.

Christ and his Passions

Based on the understandings of Thomas Aquinas the importance of the emotions to man’s development is clear. However, Scripture also reveals the significance of the emotions through the example of Jesus Christ. If the passions were indeed evils to be avoided or suppressed then Scripture would not reveal as much as it does about the emotional life of Jesus. However, this is not the case as Pinckaers points out, since in Scripture Christ “experienced sadness, joy, pain, and anger” (p. 275). He wept when Lazarus died, was hungry in the desert, suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and was roused to anger in the temple (John 11:35, Matt 4:2-3, Mark 14:32-42, Mark 11:15-19). During none of these instances does Christ suppress the emotions he is feeling at the time. Instead, he uses the passions so that he might be “ordered to beatitude in God by the means of the virtues and gifts” (Pinckaers, p.276). Because Christ is fully man at the same time as being fully divine, he allows himself to experience all that man experiences, which includes the emotional life. Although his experience was not the same as ours in the sense that his passions never interfered with his perfect reason or the perfect grace present in him from birth, the emotions he experienced were still real and had the effect of pulling him towards God and his fellow man in love (Titus, p. 73-74, 82).

In addition, these emotions Christ experienced were necessary for his development as a person. While recognizing the fact that Christ had perfect grace and was full of virtue, this merely means that his sensate appetites were fully obedient to his reason and will (Titus, p.79). This does not mean that Christ necessarily chose when to engage his emotions, thus taking away from their spontaneity. Instead, he was able to use his emotions as they spontaneously arose to orient himself towards God and the good. When his passions were roused, they did not merely act on their own, but since Christ was a perfect union of body and soul his passions entered into dialogue with his intellect and will in expressions of love for both his Father and his brethren on earth (Titus, p. 72-73). In doing so, Christ shows to man a picture of what the emotional life should be like. The sensate appetites should not be subdued like the Stoics thought, but rather should be directed towards God, as should all of man’s appetites. Through this dialogue of his emotions and reason and will Christ, although perfect was perfect in disposition, grew in terms of his acts (Titus, p. 83). He did not progress in wisdom and grace, as he already possessed these perfectly. Instead, he grew by means of his perfect disposition in his works of grace, his ultimate work coming at the end of his life, when engaging his passion of love he sacrificed himself for all mankind.

His passions were a key component in the growth of acts that he experienced. One of the most beautiful examples of Christ experiencing passion and that intensely shines as a work of grace is the story of the garden of Gethsemane (Mark 14:32-42). Everything in him cries out to avoid the ordeal he is about to undergo as he pleads “Father, remove this cup from me” (Mark 14:36). His emotions, as they are rightly ordered, direct him to want to avoid the very real evils of torture and murder. It is not merely Christ’s body that is producing these emotions, for even his soul is sad. He expresses his emotions and because of them turns towards God in his sadness. This is the very movement from sensation to spirit that Aquinas describes (Pinckaers, p.277). Christ express sorrow and anguish, but with reason and will also engages his charity, his deep and abiding love for every human being, allowing him to undergo the trials prepared for him. Clearly, Christ does not stoically ignore his feelings. He turns to God in his anguish and focuses on his love, the passion he has for the good of every human being. Both his negative emotions (anguish), and his positive one (love), are not just expressed through the body, but instead spring from his soul. While his disposition was that of perfect grace in the garden, his emotions, working with his intellect and will to direct him in love towards God and man, allowed him to achieve a greater work than he had ever previously done, sacrificing himself for the sake of all.

The final note concerning the passions of Christ should really be concerning love, which the Church says “is the most fundamental passion… aroused by the attraction of the good” (CCC #1765). The reason for this is that the passion of love is what is at the core of all of Christ’s emotions and actions, even in the midst of suffering or anger. When in the temple, he is indignant not for his own sake but on behalf of his Father, the God who he loves (Luke: 45-46). In the garden and on the cross, it is love for all of mankind and for God that allows him to triumph in the face of tremendous personal agony and suffering. This serves to show that although passions are indeed personal desires that they are not meant to be selfish desires. The emotional life of Christ shows man that he must be called forth from himself and say ‘yes’ with his whole self to the good of God and others (Benedict XVI, n. 17). Christ, in manner of the lover in the Song of Songs, desires his beloved (every human) not only on an intellectual level but in a fashion in which all of him, passions, intellect, and will cries out and looks for the good of his beloved. His passions do not end at selfish desires, but in the true nature of God his passions point him towards the good of others, calling him outside of himself for their sake. Although there may be an “ecstasy” commonly associated with love, especially eros or passionate love, at its core the passion of love seeks the good of the other (Benedict XVI, n.6).

New Understandings

Saint Paul in a New Light

Given the example of Christ’s emotional life and the Aquinas’ understandings of the emotions, once again the focus returns to Saint Paul lamenting in frustration “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do” (Rom 7:19). Is there indeed a war between Paul’s higher appetites and his lower ones, which seek to prevent him from obtaining true beatitude? If there is indeed a war, which is entirely possible due to the concupiscence present in human nature as a result of original sin, it is not necessarily the fault of the emotions. Rather, if one might make a claim so bold, it is because Saint Paul at the time of his letter had not achieved moral perfection. Whether it was a state of life for him at that particular moment or a trait he struggled with throughout his life, one can see a certain incontinence in the Apostle, for he clearly knows and desires to do the good but does not do it. However, if he is to follow the example of Christ and live a fully integrated life then he cannot simply subdue or push aside his emotions. Rather, using his reason and will, which seem to be oriented towards the good, he must through virtuous choices bring his passions into line so that he begins to desire what is truly good for him. As he chooses again and again with his intellect and will his true good, at the same time he must engage his passions, especially his passion of love for God his true beatitude. Developing these virtuous habits means that his passions will come into conflict with his will and intellect less and less and will instead serve them in pushing Paul towards his ultimate good.

A New Understanding in Psychology

The teachings of Aquinas on emotions and the example of Christ have not only significant implications for Saint Paul but also for man today, especially in the world of psychotherapy. First, this integrated understanding of the emotions as part of the whole man fits in with the integrated psychological model put forth by E. Christian Brugger (2009). This model has at its center a concept of human flourishing, a flourishing that must respect the fact that man is both body and soul (Brugger, p.7). Therapists who have as their goal aiding human flourishing will often have to deal with emotions in their work and cannot expect clients to leave them behind if they are to truly aid their clients in the quest for beatitude. One must realize passions do not spring from the body but are often the cry of the soul, as it desires some absent good or an evil to go away. It is impossible to separate the emotions from the cognitive processes like Descartes would desire, as the neurologist Antonio Damasio shows in revealing the brain processes that occur during emotional processing (1994, p. 137-139). In addition, based on the teachings of Aquinas and the example of Christ therapists must realize that their clients need emotions in order to make moral judgments. Again, the research of Damasio shows that higher level functions such as intelligence and memory can be intact while moral judgment is impaired as in the case of Phineas Gage, showing that the emotions are a necessary component in man’s quest to orient himself towards the good (p. 17-19, 66-67). In light of this, therapists should work with the emotional life of the client, helping them to orient themselves towards what will bring them true beatitude. Virtue and rightly formed reason and will enable the client to discern when their passions point to the good, which in turn allow them to engage their passions even more as a tool which will point them to true beatitude.

Conclusion

While the evils that confront man are indeed of a variable and multitudinous nature it is hardly fair to say that the passions are among those evils. While they can and often do cause man to act in disregard for his ultimate good as the case of Saint Paul shows, they can also serve to direct him towards that ultimate good when they entire into dialogue with man’s intellect and will. Furthermore, as Thomas Aquinas and the life of Jesus Christ show, the passions fulfill a necessary role in developing man as a moral character, developing his self-mastery, and calling him out of himself in love so that he might find his true beatitude in love of God and neighbor. In light of this, psychology today cannot afford to shun the emotions, but instead must be open to discussing them as an integral part of who man is in order to facilitate greater flourishing. Engaging the passions will ensure that man in general and a therapist’s clients in particular will be able to direct themselves towards true beatitude and walk more confidently on the path towards their ultimate goal of happiness.

Bibliography

Benedict XVI (2006). Deus caritas est (Encyclical, God is Love).

Brugger, E.C. (2009). Psychology and Christian Anthropology. Edification. 3:1. 5-18.

Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. New York: Grosset/Putman.

Gondreau, P. (2007). The Passions and the Moral Life: Appreciating the Originality of Aquinas. The Thomist. 71:3. 419-450.

Pinckaers, S. (1990). Beatitude and the Beatitudes in Aquinas’s Summa Theologiae. In (Ed. Berkman, J., Titus, C. S.), Reapproaching Aquinas’s Account of the Passions. (pp. 273-287). Washington D.C.: The Catholic University of America Press.

Titus, C.S. (2009). Passions in Christ: Spontaneity, Development, and Virtue. The Thomist 73:1. 53-88.

Catechism of the Catholic Church (1994). New York, NY: Doubleday Press.

Holy Bible (RSV). (2004). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Hidden Paths

during and after a hike in Great Falls Park

Far from the stony towers,
and the hardened pavement ways,
stand the watchers and rememberers,
'mongst whom light and shadows play.

For ages hidden in silent watch,
in beauty no man could contrive,
In joy they sang before our ways,
brought limits to our lives.

The same golden sun is shining
on the secret, hidden ways.
A golden blanket, kissed with sun,
light on the forest lays.

And here is still remembered
the time there was no man.
When the glory in these shaded paths,
was but a step of greater plan.

In moss hung and gold-lit castle,
all one can see is giving.
They give glory to their Creator King,
merely by their vibrant living.

At sight of this joyful living,
the heart with wonder fills.
To hear the joyous sparrow sing,
above yellow daffodils.

Worn and ancient boulders sit,
like knobby old men, gray.
See faces uncounted and every step,
that has tread upon the way.

And tangled trees remember
the ages long ago.
They've seen times of joy and laughter,
and times of tears and woe.

Some stand as silent sentinels,
and remember all they've seen.
They'll watch lives that have yet to pass,
after lives that once have been.

And the river still is rolling,
oer rocks now worn with age.
Now a roaring, deadly lion,
now a silent, pondering sage.

If such beauty lives in our world,
how much more will be hereafter.
When nature will wake in truest form,
at the word of it's great Crafter.

Battle Weariness

in times where it seems the battle cannot go on

Lord, I have been abandoned,
my friends are nowhere in sight.
Far off are any who might help me,
alone I stand against the forces of evil.

I stand alone against a sea of foes.
Even you have left me, my God.
My God, why have you forsaken me?
Why have you left me to struggle on my own?

My sword is notched, my shield riven, spear splintered.
My helm is dented and my armor battered.
I am weary in body and soul,
yet still my foes press in around me.

How long have I been fighting?
When will I gain respite?
When will I feel again the strength of the Lord,
and his love which upholds me?

Fighting constantly I long for peace.
Battle after battle wearies me.
How can I continue fighting,
if I am deprived of the strength of the Lord?

Yet still I live, in spite of battle,
in spite of many trials.
And as I live, then I am supported.
For only do I fight by the grace of God,
only by his strength do I lift notched sword and riven shield,
to continue the battle in his service.

Therefore, though my heart, soul, and body are weary,
I will press on in joyful service to the Lord.
Though my throat is dry and hoarse,
and all my tears are spent,
I will let forth a joyful battle cry,
singing a song of victory to my God.

God's Warrior

during one of the Spiritual Exercises meditations.

My God, My God, my loving Christ,
I put my trust in you.

Direct me Oh Lord in the battle to come!
Fill my soul with a spirit of fire and zeal!

From afar I heard the sound of your call
and it echoed in my breast.
I hastened to your side,
though often tripped by obstacles and fears.

Behold, I stand before you now,
willing to serve you, to give you my life.
With joyful heart I take up sword and shield in thy service.

To the battle I will go singing joyfully,
a song of praise to you will be on my lips.
Your strength will be in my arm,
your light in my eyes.

The joy of battle is upon me!
I am eager for the contest!
Let my foes fly before me
when they see the Lord I serve!
Wailing they will despair,
turn their backs and flee.
In their flight I will surely cut them down,
they will feel the bite of my sword!

Tremble, you enemies of the Lord, you fools!
You have set yourself against on too strong,
you are outmatched by God in me!
Fight or flee- to me it matters not,
I will hunt you down.

When your arm grows weary in the battle,
when your legs grow weak in the retreat,
still you will find me tireless, fighting, pursuing.
From me you will gain no respite,
for my strength is in the Lord.

Send me forth, my King!
I am eager for the war!

The Flame Within

Burning, Burning, Burning,
Ah, this flame is burning!
Bright it burns within my heart,
zeal and courage it does impart.
So intense it causes pain.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.
Ah, how this flame is burning!

Blazing, brightly blazing.
God how my soul is blazing!
Such love is too much to contain.
My joyful cries I cannot restrain.
More bright than king in gold attire
does burn my spirit with your fire.
God, how can I stand this blazing?

Consuming, so consuming.
God, this flame's my soul consuming!
Burns away all sin and vice,
devouring me like a sacrifice.
Oh flame that dwells within my core,
consume me til there's nothing more,
but you, oh flame of love, consuming!

Transforming, all transforming.
Christ, in your fire I'm transforming!
Like an offering that is burnt away,
may I burn a little more each day,
and offered share this burning love,
that appeared like fire tongues and Spirit dove.
May I share my soul's transforming!

Prayer of One Burdened

My heart is aching, dearest Lord.
At night I water it with my tears,
at day I feed it with my sorrows.
Will you remain far off forever, Lord?

Do you not hear me crying in distress?
How long has this burden been upon my soul!
I have sought to lift it without success, my strength is not enough.
I have sought the aid of others, but they cannot help or will not.

I turn to you, oh God. You alone can help me.
Will you not aid me,
comfort me in my sorrow?

This burden is so great that I can barely speak, barely move.
Alone I sink beneath its weight, struggling for every breath.
My cries come out as panting gasps.
How can I endure this, my Lord?
How much longer will this burden afflict my heart?

Yet if this is your will, Oh God, who am I to stand against it?
Who am I to question the ways of the Lord?
Truly it is by his grace that I walk or move at all.
Every step, every rise after every fall is by his power.
In my misery his strength sustains me.

Though the Lord appears far off, how can I trust my senses,
The senses of a weak and human body?
Will they tell me that the Lord is present,
or the purpose of this burden?
No, but faith shall tell me the purpose of my sorrows,
shall tell me where the Lord is in my distress.

He is in me, lifting me, aiding me to walk.
He allows my burden that I might turn to him all the more for succor in my troubles.
Therefore, though my heart aches and this burden weighs upon my soul
I will not despair.
Sorrow shall never speak the last when God is at my side.

Let Go

from a time in prayer

Let go of everything but me.
Cling only to my Spirit.

Let go of fear, of all anxious worry.
My Spirit will fill you with courage and trust.
Let go of hatred, all resentful grudges.
My Spirit will fill you with love and forgiveness.
Let go of pride, foolish self attachment.
My Spirit will fill you with humility and sacrifice.
Let go of doubt and lingering uncertainty.
My Spirit will fill you with lasting faith.
Let go of tears and sorrows remembered.
My Spirit will fill you with unbridled joy.
Let go of timidity with it's hesitant steps.
My Spirit will fill you with zeal and passion.

Only by letting go will you find,
in emptying will you fill,
in giving you will receive,
in dying you shall live.

Behold, when you forget yourself you will remember me,
and I shall not forget you.
I will fill you with my Spirit.
Your weakness is no match for my strength.
Turn over all to me and I will cast out all that hinders you,
all that has caused you to weep bitter tears of anguish.

Yet I warn you, nothing must be kept back.
If you fully desire my Spirit, then you must fully give all that you are.
But I tell you, do not be afraid.
For when you fully give yourself,
fully empty, fully lose,
you will become, fully, the person you were meant to be.

Prepare For Battle

My brethren, steel thyselves against temptation
I say unto you, the battle is before us.
Truly our doom is at hand.
Therefore, gird on helm and breastplate, sword and shield.
Prepare yourself for battle long and arduous.

Indeed, our enemy is at hand.
A tireless general who never sleeps, never tires,
with legions like him at his command.
Their thirst for blood cannot be quenched, cannot be slaked.
They will not rest until we fall.

Therefore oh lovers of truth and beauty,
those of you who defy the armies of hate,
shore up your defenses, make firm thy walls.
For the time is upon us when they shall be tested in the fires of war,
for the enemy marches upon us. He is at our gates.

Prepare your defenses with fiery hearts,
for not all hope is lost, nor are we forsaken.
Our commander will not desert us, but will lead us to victory.
In him let us put our faith.
Before him the craven hordes of the enemy fly,
at the sound of his horn they quake with fear.

Woe to them who call not to our King,
who in pride or foolishness follow him not in the coming battle.
Surely they will fall like sheep to wolves.
The faint hearted will not endure this time of trial,
but will wither like ash before the onslaught.

But those who trust our King with zeal and courage,
they will surely be victorious, he will lead them.
In the coming battles and trials he will triumph,
Leading his followers out of darkness to a new dawn.
He will plant his banner of victory on the field of battle.

Hands

In hands lie powers great and true,
to help or hurt, to make things new.
In hands the power to give or take,
to love, to harm, create or break.
Spread wealth to others, gather to you.

It was hands that rained the blows,
on pure man's back and tore his clothes.
Hands on the end of arms spread wide,
when on a cross in love he died.
With open hands his love he showed.

And when he rose again on high,
returning homeward to the sky,
a mission he gave to be his hands,
to heal and serve in all the lands.
His powers in our own hands lie.

To our human hands power he gives
for good or evil, while we live.
Within each man does dwell the choice,
on how his hands will speak their voice,
using them to condemn or to forgive.

Hands we can open in embrace,
hands wipe the tears from saddened face.
Hands given to another in act of love,
that takes the form of purest dove,
and shows to us his special grace.

Tis hands that raise the gifts on high,
where blood and body hidden lie.
Hands are laid upon the head,
recall the spirit from the dead,
and bring new life like morning sky.

Yet our hands can bring also pain,
power to destroy the crop and scatter grain.
With hands we can be agents of hate,
destroying good others create.
Hand are given to the evil and insane.

Decide then how your hands will be used,
for at life's end we do not draw, but only win or lose.
Victory's determined in part by hands.
Were they used to love or meet selfish demands?
Your hands will tell your life's story, so choose.

Glowing Crowns

sunlight on trees in fall



Gleaming the sunlight blazes,
golden gleaming.
Lights afire regal, precious stones,
the jewels ablazing,
That sit on monarchs' lofty heads,
with glory crowning.

Rubies, perdots, bright topaz,
in splendor sitting.
Crown the tall tree-heads
in sunlight glowing.
Majestic stand like kings and queens,
their kingdom ruling.

At last the weary monarchs,
crowns removing,
send gems dancing, twirling to the ground,
a carpet glowing.
To make way for new crowns, new jewels,
new life springing.

Hunger

written during a time I was fasting

Behold, the feasts of the world are spread out.
Feasts of power and wealth are prepared.
From the farthest corners of the world they come,
offering all sorts of worldly pleasure.

They offer the might of kings and princes,
they are prepared in their banquet halls.
The wealth of Solomon, of all the world is set upon the table,
riches and powers and pleasures of the world.

I see these feasts, oh God, and my heart is empty.
The hunger of my soul does not abate.
What can quench this unutterable longing?
What feast is there where my hunger shall be sated?

For the feasts of the world set before me do not sustain.
If I feast on them still I will hunger.
They have no power to fill me up,
they do not satisfy my longing for something more.

You alone, my God, can satisfy me!
I will find lasting nourishment only in your grace
Not like the fleeting satisfaction of worldly feasts is my God,
but his love will fully satiate me.

The feasts of the world give me nothing.
When I partake of them still I hunger.
God alone will satisfy my cravings.
His grace is filling as meat and wine, like good food.

My God, My God, how my soul longs for you!
How I hunger daily for your graces!
My spirit is consumed by need of you.
Without you I would surely perish.

Your words, my Lord, give me strength.
They comfort me like food does a starving man.
You sustain me with your essence, with your very being.
For you my soul is longing.

I am in great need of your Spirit, Oh God!
My soul longs to be full of your grace.
It is pining to be filled with you,
to slake it's thirst with your love.

When you fill me I am satisfied,
while without you I wander hungry and destitute.
Therefore I approach as a beggar,
I beg, my God, for the scraps of your love, your mercy.

But your generosity knows no bounds,
instead of scraps you have given me a feast!
My soul is overwhelmed by your open-handed goodness,
you give contentment to my soul!

Will You

another poem after time in prayer and Adoration

Will you hear the cries of the wounded around you?
Will you see their affliction, take pity?
Will you answer? Will you step forward?
Will you fight? Will you bleed? Will you bear the wounds?

Will you be content with weaknesses?
Will you bear suffering?
Will you be open to total sacrifice?

Will you bear ridicules?
Will you be insulted, slandered?
Will you be hated?
Will you die each day?

Will you open yourself to unknown joy?
Will you let yourself love as never before?

Will you cast yourself into the ocean and find firm ground?
Will you step into the darkness and thereby find light?
Will you bear the pain and thereby find joy?
Will you give your life away but to find it once again?

Common

at a time I was particularly fed up with idiocy and academia, which can often be one and the same.

Give me those who live and bleed and die.
Give me the man who weary in body seeks to live the good life.
Give me the woman full of hurt who still loves.
Those who wander on the streets and scratch out a living,
who harbor in their hearts hope for their children,
keeping nothing for themselves.

They have truly loved, truly felt, truly wept, truly lived.
They live unfettered by theories and academic babble,
spewed forth by apes who masquerade as men,
who proclaim man as high and excellent,
and in the next breath reduce him to an animal.

How much I would rather be ruled by those who see life clearly:
poor in learning,
but rich in life and common sense.

The Morning Shield

inspired by the sunrise I can see from my office.

The morning shield is rising,
on blue fields swiftly rising,
and the shadows now are flying,
as he casts his light abroad.
And his eyes are bright and blazing,
like white hot flames are blazing,
and he's clothed in armor dazzling,
flame robed and golden shod.

His battle horn is blowing,
the call to battle blowing,
and the notes are fiercely flowing,
o'er field and mountain tall.
In forests dark they're echoing,
in tangled forests echoing,
in canyons dim they're bellowing,
as they herald evening's fall.

The shadows he is piercing,
with sharpened spear is piercing.
No hidden place he's missing,
as he calls forth the day.
And Apollo's steeds he's driving,
and dark before him driving,
and the shadows now are dying,
as he drives the dark away.

The demons now are wailing,
the shades and shadows wailing,
for their power sure is failing
against this shield of might.
With bright steel he's destroying,
their deadly hold destroying,
and they, brightness abhorring,
flee from his blazing light.

New hope in hearts he's kindling,
new life he now is kindling,
and souls now joyfully singing,
from darkness lift their eyes.
They hearken to his calling,
come marshall to his calling,
for they see the shadows falling,
and the night before him flies.

The morning shield is rising,
like Son of Man is rising,
who death's dark grasp defying,
brought life and light anew.
As he rose in glory shining,
like sunlight brightly shining,
that brings hope with each new dawning,
and lights the morning dew.

The Dome and Spire

inspired by the view of DC from my office building and my thoughts on politics in general.

On wings of dawn the sun does rise, a golden spire,
and gleaming rays alight on dome and spire
that stand amidst the sound of cry and moan,
of those wandering the kingdom, lost alone.
The gluttonous for power and snake tongued liars,
sit their in vice and power on their thrones.

Forgotten now their noble call, the call to serve.
From new and deadly tasks they will not swerve.
Those who once they served now denied both life and breath,
They trample the oppressed to dust and death,
those whose backs with heavy loads do curve.

Bickering these power hungry jackals sit in golden halls
devouring defenseless lives with hungry maws.
Then turning round with serpent hearts and eyes,
feed the people's fears with evil lies.
As they cackling gather power neath their paws.

Where now are servants true, to do what must be done?
Who'll save their people dying like sinking sun.
Truly unless they come with speed and haste,
on deadly paths our kingdom has been placed,
to a place of hell and misery, never undone.

Prayer of an Afflicted One

Oh Lord how long will this sickness afflict me?
How long will this blight be upon my soul?
My spirit is sick within me.
For many nights I have wept in anguish,
yet my bitter tears give me no sustenance.

When, my God, will you come to my aid?
Will my plea be unheard by your ears?
Behold the jackals close in about me,
cackling madly at my distress,
jeering at my wounded soul.

Turn not your face from me, oh God!
You who created me, do not abandon me now!
Without your aid I shall perish.
As surely as a blind man would perish in the woods,
will I perish without the help of the Lord.

Why, oh Lord, am I forsaken?
Why am I forgotten like the dead?
No companion have I save my grief
and the evil one who afflicts me,
mocking me in my pain.

My Spirit is assaulted by grief and anguish.
my soul is burdened with bitter sorrows.
Like an army besieging a city
my foes have besieged my soul.
With evil hearts they seek my life.

In this dark and sorrowful time
I have but one hope: the Lord.
I cast myself on his love and protection.
Surely he will shelter me in his arms,
as a father shelters his child from the terrors of the night.

My last hope is in you, my Savior.
Your mercy is my only chance for life.
Bereft of all other hopes I cling to you.
Save me, oh Lord, in my anguish!
Oh God, save my soul!

Although I feel alone against my enemies,
the Lord is not far from me.
When my spirit wails in desolation
the Lord will answer.
He will hear the cry of my lips
and rush with great haste to protect me.

For the Lord is their for all his children
even when they perceive him not.
A loving God, he abandons not his creations.
He watches over them with love
and protects them from the evil one.

Therefore, though my soul is sick and alone, I trust.
I trust in the Lord who will never leave me.
Like a mountain of rock he is there,
though my soul and senses perceive him not.
He will shelter me in his love.

A Soul Divided

This is from when our Student Ministry Team was preparing for the upcoming semester and I felt too small for the task.

The Spirit of Man

The dark descends devouring, a dark flame devouring.
Lord, how weak I am!
Like new born babe, beset by fears,
my spirit weak and trembling.

Cold the hearth of my soul, the flame of my spirit.
All now is ash within me.
What can you ask of one so weak?
What possible service can I render?

Does a child undertake hard labor?
How then can I do your will?
For in your eyes I am but a child,
and you ways are far beyond my own.

My own fears consume me,
beset on every side by terrors.
The horrors of my mind and soul confront me.
I am paralyzed by fear, a thousand spears,
held by enemies who seek my life in bloodlust.

What might I accomplish against such odds,
a man so weak as I?
How can I cross a desert so wide,
or scale this indomitable mountain?

My weakness invades my limbs.
Like a man infirm I tremble.
How can I succeed in such a task?
This quest is too much for me.

The Spirit of the Lord

But lo! What is this unconquered core?
This steady iron within, a firm foundation.
Though all is ash, embers live,
and catch at breath of air.

The Lord says unto me:
Who else is there to send?
You are my hands, my voice,
if you will not do this task, then who?

How could I not be with you?
I, who have given you every good thing?
Is it possible that I could leave you?
No, I shall never leave your side.

When the Lord speaks, I take courage.
I see now what must be done.
For if not me, then who?
Who will rise in answer to God’s call?

Therefore, I will put on buckler and shield.
With girded sword I shall take courage, be a man.
the fearsome, vile foes I will confront.
With the Lord in my right arm
I’ll strike them down.

Though fears dwell within and still beset me.
I laugh at fear, I scorn it.
For with God in me I’ll do all things,
with God, my core of steel.

Take up arms in face of fear and serve the Lord!

Adoring

during Eucharistic Adoration

Behold our God, disguised as bread.
Tis Christ our Lord, who once was dead,
Whose heart was pierced, who suffered, died,
with crown of thorns upon his head.

Creator of both earth and storm,
abides with us in hidden form.
For love's sake he remains with us,
oh let our hearts to his conform.

In this hour he whispers "watch with me"
and in this time, Lord, help us see,
what appears as piece of lowly bread
in truth our God in majesty.

What appears as simple grain
endured with love our bitter pain.
He loved us utmost to the end,
and showered us with grace like rain.

In this hour he offers rest,
respite from fears, life's trying test.
Come give him both your fears and joys,
come lay your head upon his breast.

Oh dearest friends let us adore,
the King of Heaven evermore.
Sit with him and adoring watch,
his love shall pierce us to the core.

Silent Shades

inspired by many a silent, otherworldly trip on the Metro

I saw a man
-at least, I think he was a man.
I thought my hand would pass through him like mist,
so unreal he seemed
as he hurried by me.

A woman too I saw
-at least, I think. I can't be sure.
With eyes unseeing she sat upon her seat.
An ethereal being
who shared the air with me.

Dozens, hundreds more I saw
-or did I? I truly think I did.
Compressed together in coffin cold, not speaking.
With inward looking eyes,
withdrawn into themselves.

The shades stood silent
-or were they real? I couldn't tell.
If real, then surely they would speak in love.
But they didn't.
Their companions they ignored.

The people stood aloof
-people? Perhaps, but if so, then only part.
Though close, so distant, contained within themselves.
Such tiny worlds,
a sight that breaks the heart.

High Tide

a poem inspired by Pickett's Charge at the Battle of Gettysburg

The gray ocean sits with quiet, murmuring echo.
Neath late sun rays the gathering storm soon o'er the fields will flow.
In shaded trees trees the tide's waves sit,
wait patient for the hour.
One final surge, a last attempt.
The fire in their eyes is lit.

From afar they've come, answering homeland's call.
From mountainside, from hill and vale, where leaves are bright in fall.
No fear now their faces show,
but stout are all their hearts.
Prepared to dash cross deadly beach,
this gray, undaunted flow.

And now the thunder, precursor to the gale
leaps between ocean and beach, a heavy iron hail.
From cannon mouth the lightning burst
is joined by rumbling blast.
Their faces set, the hour nears,
to march up that beach accursed.

Arrives the moment, the waves break from the shade
towards shorn up works on deadly beach, far from their sheltering glade.
Rifles reflect the daytime light,
the tide's pace, steady, sure.
As slowly up the beach it creeps,
to the ghastly, deadly, fight.

The storm in earnest breaks, opens the gates of Hell,
and faster now does surge the tide, lets forth a piercing yell.
The rifles spit a deadly rain,
the cannons belch forth death.
Undaunted the tide charges on,
across the blood soaked plain.

Diminished by the storm, the tide reaches it's peak,
a desperate struggle to break the stones, to drive them back they seek.
With angry clash the gray-clad tide,
breaks on stubborn stones of blue.
On stormy beach of blood and death,
like Titans they collide.

Fog clings to the beach, the sun choked off, estranged.
The wall of stones, now dimly seen, is standing still, unchanged.
It's anger gone, recedes the tide,
like gray ghosts giving way.
The bloody expanse it crosses 'gain,
where it waves were broke, and died.

The Sun's returned, light on the beach does play.
Covered now the mighty waves with faces hard and fey.
But that dark day was not their last,
nor are they now forgotten.
Still in our hearts they ever dwell,
who charged the cannon blast.